Photo Courtesy: caaaal
There were cheaters in the game.
I catch myself thinking about you. Everything we had. What really gets me is the idea that you’re into her still. She did things for you that tore you apart. That tore us apart. Of course she’s not mad at anyone anymore. Of course she doesn’t yell at you anymore. Of course she’s happy. You know why? Because you’re no longer into me. You are no longer mine. But at the same time she’s not yours. Can’t you see? She didn’t want you to be happy unless it was with her. Thing is, you weren’t happy. She took that away. From not just me. But from you as well. Honestly, you were manipulated. And I can still see you have some kind of feeling for me. But you’re in denial. God, this sucks.
Ps. I’m still crazy in love with you. Augh.
THIS.
I’am a liar.
I’m not okay. I hate how everything is. How long will this last? Us not talking. I lie to myself everyday, saying I’m better off without you. But deep down I’m dying to tell you every silly little thing that I know for a fact you’d get a good laugh out of. You know, I can’t stand seeing you at school. Walking past you in the halls. I swear, it’s like pure torture. We’ve become strangers. But you seem fine. Better than fine actually. You seem happy. Happy with her of course. I wish I could take it all back. The only reason I would is because I wouldn’t be in the depressing state that I’m in if it wasn’t for us getting involved. Everyday I just want to walk up to you. Say a simple hello would be nice. But I’m stubborn. I keep telling myself, if he really wanted me in his life then he would be making the effort to talk to me. To be honest. I just want to be friends with you. That’s all. But after that day. The friendship I pictured, didn’t seem like it could happen. Especially after hearing what you said. I was furious. I didn’t know how to react. I don’t want you thinking I’m on your hook. That you have me. Don’t flirt with me. You know you’ve become one of my biggest weaknesses. Please. Don’t take advantage of that. I don’t like you anymore. I love you.
Be stronger than your emotions and remember what you deserve.
There is always that one person we hold deep in hearts, that no matter what has happened or where they are, we still love them.
I hate you because I love you.
You’re not changing. You only say that to make it okay.
Today you asked me if I was okay with the whole situation. No, I’m not fucking okay. You broke my heart and cheated. But I still like you. Hell I think I love you. I put on this stupid little act, pretending that I don’t like you. That I’m perfectly fine without you. I’m scared. Because I know that I can’t do this forever. Pretending is exhausting and missing you kills.
